Yesterday, our very own all-powerful Sith Lord suffered a successful attack on his Death Star sized ego. The rebels saw a thermal exhaust port sized weakness in the defences of his billionaire bubble and peppered the target with tennis balls, resulting in a monumental self-implosion, the likes of which hasn’t been seen since the commander he appointed to keep the rebels in check walked off the job, because he wasn’t getting the support he’d been promised by the Emperor.
The Rebels cleverly found a way to nullify the O’Neill shield, which had been seriously impeding their efforts to register any significant blows to a bumptious board, smugly content that their defence would hold, and they could carry on operations as normal despite taking severe on and off field losses as a result of their strategic decisions.
The Emperor would no doubt love to throttle some of his subordinates with a mere gesture, but that would show weakness to an otherwise enthused rebel army. Plus, those subordinates were engaged elsewhere defending the boardroom table and their substantial compensation. They were blindsided by a well thought out ambush at a weak point they hadn’t considered.
Why the Star Wars analogy? Because folk have no problem identifying the good guys and bad guys in the movies, yet in real life often don’t seem to realise they’re defending the Empire. Oh, and for clarity, the Empire isn’t Celtic, it’s the insidious regime currently running the club into the ground. However, you should be aware that the Empire started out as the good guys, but became so corrupted that it was impossible to distinguish the regime from the actions of its leaders. A fate we must avoid at all costs.
Darth Desmond is leading us down a dark path, and our destruction would mean nothing to him personally. Not a supporter of the club. Not a funder of the club. He has no passion for the club. If he burned the place down tomorrow, his investment managers wouldn’t even cut short their coffee break.
This entire situation is the result of an investment made at a time when a move to England was still on the cards. He lost that gamble but realised the social kudos and ego stroking garnered by controlling the club was unsurpassed anywhere else in his empire of distressed asset purchases and became an addiction he just can’t shake.
I posted the following on X at 6.28pm. Absolutely confident that the ego damage would see a nuclear response. Once more utilising official club channels to empty his pram of toys and subjecting us to a tsunami of butt-hurt toddler rage.
Less than four hours later, we got his tantrum written out in all its inglorious, embarrassing and childish anger. Injured pride in an official communication. Do we know if Martin O’Neill is still the manager after his period of reflection? The club haven’t deigned to tell us. But a mere few hours after the Darth lord was embarrassed in front of his rich friends, we get one of the lengthiest communications I’ve ever seen from the club.
A communication which included this little gem, among many.
Celtic will continue to listen to and engage with supporters who wish to make their voices heard constructively and responsibly. There are many established channels through which supporters can do so, and today’s decision does not diminish the Club’s commitment to meaningful supporter engagement
Engagement is a two-way street. Even this new Celtic Connect is a platform where the proposal is to hand-pick a politburo of stooges to give the illusion of genuine communication. Celtic have never engaged any supporters’ group in good faith. They consider engagement to be making pronouncements from on high, evading answering questions, chuntering about lessons learned, and asking for more time to make the changes that never come.
And that’s the point. Despite all previous failures, despite all previous ‘engagement’, absolutely nothing has changed in any meaningful way. To the extent that this rage-fuelled response from Desmond was utterly predictable.
They have ignored all previous protests, except to ban those protesting and then justify it on some spurious grounds of security. However, now that there are no security concerns, they seek once more to ban fans. Making crystal clear the reality behind this outrageous exercise in waffling onanism: that this is a dictatorship. An absolute monarchy, whose only interest is to extract every conceivable coin from its citizens and by God, they will brook no dissent from the likes of you mere peasants.
This protest hit home like no other. Why? Because it hit our Sith Lord where it hurts. He couldn’t give a damn about Celtic’s reputation. He has overseen more European humiliations than I can count, and we are now facing a cycle of financial decline which may not be arrested for a generation, if it ever is.
He cares even less about the reputation of supporters, for whom he has demonstrated nothing but contempt.
He cares about prestige, and he cares about golf. He cares about preserving his aura as a billionaire. This protest got at the heart of his passions and, for a man utterly driven by a self-centred, massive ego, this is entirely unacceptable.
Of course, the support will be divided, but that’s because some of them still believe the Empire are the good guys. But this Empire consists of people to whom Celtic is an investment or a well-paid job with no accountability.
For many fans, this club is the passion at the core of their lives. Just like golf is for Desmond. This board are deluded if they think their toxicity will remain confined to the footprint of Celtic Park.
There is a line between protest and deliberate disruption, whines our erstwhile author.
Yes, and that line is between ineffective and effective protest.
Darth Desmond will no doubt retaliate. Some villagers will be shot as an example. If that’s the price of victory, so be it.
This is the first chink in an otherwise impregnable wall of indifference.
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